I just got the news – Tom will be home until Monday. He was coming home anyways, but when he went to leave his truck wouldn’t start. The batteries weren’t dead, but it wasn’t enough to start the truck. This is the second time this week that he’s had that problem so they’re going to fix the truck. It was due for a service anyways. He’s being sent home so I have to drive to Columbus to pick him up. I’m not sure when he’s going to get to Columbus, nor am I sure when I’m going to get to Columbus. This no hugging/kissing/etc. is going to suck, but I’m going to get to see him! I’m so excited! I’m so happy! Yay!

I worked today. OT. 6 hours. It was hard to get up at 430 am, but it went well. 6 hours isn’t nearly as long as 10 hours is. I worked and listened to my music. I bought lunch on the way home and Tom ordered pizza for me for dinner. Isn’t he sweet? I took no pictures this week so there’s no weekly winners. Sorry guys. I took some this morning of the sunrise so there will be some next week. Please have some patience.

My neck feels much better. I working on ideas for my story, but not reallly getting anywhere with them. I’m going to take a bath and go to bed. 430 comes quite early in the morning. Night all!

I’ve been up since 330 am and boy am I tired! I just had to sneak in a post before I go to bed. I’m not sure what to write. I’m not completely sure as to what I’m doing tomorrow. I know I’m working from 7-1, but after that I don’t know. There are tentative plans to gather at Charissa’s but I haven’t heard anything concrete. I should ask. I just took a bath and finished a book. There’s nothing like a nice hot bath and a book. Now I’m talking to Tom. I’ve just taken my pills, including the muscle relaxer. I swear between that and the anti inflammatory I’m feeling tons better. Even when the anti inflammatory wears off in the morning it still hurts much, much less than it was hurting. I’m so happy about that. You just have no idea. I have another book to start, but I’m think I just might wait till tomorrow to do that. I’m not sure. I’m not really sure about working tomorrow, though six hours of OT would be a great blessing. I just hope God can get me through it. I’m also hoping to get some laundry done. I tried to do it on Thursday, but the washer was full. Not being used, but full. *sigh* I’m hoping it won’t be full the next time I go to use it. I don’t know if it will be or not. That’s the annoying thing about being in a building with only one washer and one dryer.

My neck has been hurting since last Wednesday. I keep hoping that it will go away, but it hasn’t. Tylenol was kicking its butt for a few days, but yesterday afternoon it stopped working on it. Okay, so it still helps a little – I’m just in constant pain. I made an appointment with my doctor for Thursday because by then it will be over a week. Tom told me to do it and I’m listening. I get sick of hurting fairly quickly. It’s only one side of my neck – the right side. Turning my head, well moving my head hurts. Okay, it hurts all the time. I’d take ibuprofrin but since I’ve been told I’m allergic to it (since I had an allergic reaction twice out of all the times I’ve taken it, both when I’ve had the same rash, both years apart *rolls eyes*) I’m not. Heat doesn’t help. I’ve tried hot showers and heating pads – no luck. I wish I could say that laying my head down or keeping my head still helped, but it doesn’t. There is always some level of pain. Put that together with the ointment in my eye and you have a very cranky Krissy. Put that together with the fact that I don’t get to talk to Tom tonight and you get a very cranky, very lonely, very unhappy Krissy. I want a magic wand so I can make it all go away.

I have always believed in God and Jesus. I have always believed that He loves me and cares for me. Recently, that belief has been stretched and even broken. I know He came to save us and that he redeemed us. I’ve just been going through a time when I haven’t been able to trust Him.
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Deep down. People always are wondering what they are like deep down. So much can be seen on the surface but who trusts the surface of anything? Surfaces can be painted and glossed over and made pretty for everyone to see. It’s what is below that matters. There are people who are all surface. These people make poor friends. Well, maybe not poor friends, but certainly not true friends. They are not friends who will stick with you through thick and thin. They are not people who will be there when the going gets tough. I’m not a big fan of surface people. Luckily, I don’t know that many. Most surface people get sick of me right away. I’ve always been one to look closely at people and things. I see too much, as one friend told me. I know I look to hard and ask too much. I always have. It’s hard for me to trust people. As I told you in my 101 Things About Me I always feel like I’m pestering people or bothering them when I go to talk to them. There are times, and those times can be quite often, when I have extremely low self esteem. I don’t see why anyone would bother with me. I know I’m nothing special, nothing worth people taking time and energy away from their activities for. So I tend to leave people alone. I don’t call anyone other than my parents and Tom. Tom, for some odd reason, likes to talk to me. I don’t always understand why. I’m so bogged down in money problems that I can’t see straight. I would like to believe that I’m worthwhile, etc. but I just feel like a drain on society. I don’t contribute much; I just take. Or at least that’s all I can see right now. I just want to get in bed and hide under the covers. It makes going to church difficult.

Good morning, its A&A time. What’s A&A time? Awake and alone. It can be some of the hardest times of the day. I had a hard time last night. I spent a good amount of time crying. Finances had me down. That, of course, always spreads into my self confidence and self esteem. I was up later than I wanted to be talking to Tom. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I can feel it this morning. I’m awake now, with no one to talk to and no one to hold me. Unless you count Kit. I usually don’t. He’s a good kitty, but its not the same. He just can’t give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be okay. That’s what I really want right now.
Tom was supposed to be home this week, which only makes it harder. I also had a bad dream last night, another thing which makes it harder. At least I know that God loves me, right? That helps. Well, I have to keep going. Have a good day!

Tom sleeping. I miss him so!

More Kit Kit pics:

Gracie

Jack

Tom’s fave flower

Tom

Tom wasn’t going to get any freight this weekend so he came home. Yippee! I went straight (okay, almost straight. I stopped to eat) from work to pick him up in Columbus. We didn’t get home till after 2 am, though we did stop to share a scallop dinner (yum!). He stayed up all night cleaning the apartment – the yucky stuff I didn’t want to do like the refrigerator, toilet, bathtub, carpets (kitty puke yay – not!), and the ucky chicken pans I didn’t do on Thursday. He also took all of the trash out. And cleaned the rest of the bathroom as well. Does a guy get much better than that? He came to bed at that point (he did all of that while I was sleeping – I told you he was awesome!) and we slept for most of the morning. He’s now dealing with the gas shut off notice we got from Equitable last night. Since we’re not responsible for paying the gas bill according to the lease, I didn’t think we should have gotten the notice. We’re also going to go to Seeds of Hope tonight (especially since Ian and Megan will be there – yay!), though he does need to get some more sleep before doing that. I also need to get a copy of his SS card and driver’s license so we can send away for his DAC report (commercial driving report) to see how long we have to wait until we can find him another job. I’m hopeful; he’s not. I think the plan is to see our mothers tomorrow and he’ll be heading back on a bus on Monday. That will be sad, but its been wonderful having him home! His next scheduled home time isn’t till June or July so it’s nice to get the chance to see him. Needless to say, I did not go in for OT today. Yay! I really didn’t want to go. LOL. I hope you guys are having as great of a time as we are.