He’s here! He’s here! My baby is home with me right now.  He’s eating a hot dog and just took a shower.  We’re sitting in the semi dark and my cat is looking puzzled.  I’m not sure why he’s looking puzzled - I may have told him that it would be a long time before we would see Tom again.  And here I am wasting precious time with him to blog to you.  Don’t you feel special now? LOL!  Nah, he’s eating and just turned on the tv.  I’ll be going to bed soon.  I can’t help but wonder if he’ll come with me. :D  Good night

I guess you could say I’m three for three now.  Three days, three posts.  Well, okay, so there are more than three posts, but I’m keeping up the momentum.  I just got off the phone with Tom.  I miss him terribly.  It was wonderful having him around for such a long time, but I’m really sad that the time is over.  Plus, he’s been in an area where he’s roaming or can’t get a signal so we hadn’t been able to talk.  We talked for a couple of hours this afternoon, but he is once again in a place were he doesn’t get a signal.  He’s taking a shower now and will text me, but texting just isn’t the same. Which reminds me.  I want to transcribe some of his texts to a word document so I can clean out my inbox.  Maybe I’m sentimental or maybe I’m just sappy, but there are some texts in there that I just don’t want to lose.  The first time he told me he loved me.  The first time he said he liked me.  The ten texts telling me wonderful things about me that he loves.  Those mean a lot to me.  I don’t want to lose them.  Call me silly, if you want.  Words have power.  I’m currently letting  my phone charge (hey, several hours of talking will drain a battery!) so I’ll have to do the transcribing later.  But I miss him terribly.  Not being able to talk is horrible.  Its probably selfish, but I want him here with me so I can share life with him.  I love him.  He means the world to me.  I just hope he knows that!

Do you ever spend time wondering how things would be different if you could go back and change something?  Tom and I play the what if game all the time.  What if he had asked me out before Terry did?  What if I had talked to him on New Year’s Eve last year?  What if we could go back and change things?  Facts are we can’t.  And we certainly wouldn’t be the same people if we could.  Truth is, I’m not sure how much I would change things.  That would make who I am different.  Of course, it could be that it would be for the better, but the thing is, I doubt it.  I’ve gone through the struggles that I have for a reason.  God doesn’t let things happen that don’t get used for His glory.  I just wish, sometimes, that I had met and talked to Tom long ago - before the mess with Terry.  Being with Terry changed me for the negative.  It pops up sometimes in our relationship now.  *shrug*  I can’t change things.  I guess I just want to be the best girlfriend Tom has ever had.  And I will endeaver to do so!

I’ve started reading a book, thanks to my wonderful boyfriend.  It starts off by telling you that in order to obtain the greatness of God’s plans for you, you need to think big.  You can’t have negative thought patterns and still fulfill your dreams.  I don’t dream.  I’m afraid to.  What if it doesn’t come true?  Even worse, what if it does and its all wrong?  I’ve had both happen.  I didn’t graduate from college and I was engaged to a scumbag.  Could I actually get a degree?  Could I actually find a job that I like?  Could I possibly get out of debt?  Those dreams seem too big and scarey to me.  Tom says they’re not out of reach.  That they could come true.  I don’t know what to believe.  Do dreams really come true for failures like me?  Do I deserve to have my dreams come true?  How big can I think?  How big can I dream?  Can God really have all that in store for me?  I really don’t know.  It just seems to be impossible to me. *sigh*

Another sunrise

Giant Rose at Kennywood Park, Pittsburgh, PA

The Racer at night

My Tom

Down the hill - The Jackrabbit

A spiderweb at Kennywood

Well, I’m really not all that excited.  I got yelled at at work today in front of the whole floor.  That made me sad and angry, which you know if you Plurk.  But I’m home now, talking to my guy, installing programs, and contemplating dinner.  (Tom’s having Chinese.  Sarah’s having mac’n cheese and hot dogs.  I want!) I got some good pictures today of the dog, but I don’t think I’m going to upload them tonight.  Maybe later.  Bad news: Tom’s truck looks like it has a broken head (since when did trucks have heads?) and its going to take about a week to repair.  That means no miles, which means no paycheck.  :(  That is very bad.  But, there is some good news - the company put Tom up at a hotel (motel?  What’s the difference?) which means not only can he take showers every day, he can even take baths! (Trust me, this is cause for excitement.  Tom loves his showers.)  I have Tom all signed up with Plurk, now to get him on Facebook.  And maybe LJ.  I definitely want him to see my sites.  Which reminds me, I need to track down the login page for my website.  I don’t have it bookmarked on this computer.  And I must check on Techievampire.  Darn, no update.  I’m worried about them.  Maybe I’ll call them later.  Yeah, when I get off the phone with Tom!  But I’m talking to Tom!  And that makes me happy!  Yay!

Tom, originally uploaded by daisysmiles4you.

Good evening everyone! I’m sure by now all you loyal readers are just dying for a pic of my guy. Well, I now have one. This was taken in his truck on August 4, 2008. It was the last time I saw him that weekend and the last time I’ll see him until, oh, the end of September. Its really hard being apart, but I know he’s doing what he needs to do and I know that he loves God and me. He’s a wonderful guy and has done a whole bunch to help me become a better person. What else can I say? We’re still in that wonderful in-love phase (don’t know what I’m talking about? Check out Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. We both highly recommend it) so there’s a bit of the rose colored glasses. But I know he gets grumpy when he can’t get to a shower and I know he has a tendency to fall asleep on me in the mornings when I call. He doesn’t always say the right thing at the right time, but then again,he doesn’t have to. We’ve both been hurt badly so we’re taking it kinda slow. Still, I’m very excited about this relationship. Can you tell?

Now, let me start off by saying that I have nothing against Texas.  I’ve been there and I’ve liked it.  I had fun there.  There’s just one problem - its so far away!  That’s where Tom is right now.  He’s taking a load to Pharr, which is at the far end of the tip of Texas.  We don’t know what load they might give him to get back up here - the dispatchers haven’t said anything about it.  *sigh*  I know, I know - I knew what I was getting into when I started dating him and helped to find him this job, but it’s still hard.

Well, we all know by now that Tom is my boyfriend and that Tom is driving for a trucking company as an independent contractor.  Well, in order to be successful he needs loads.  They were supposed to get him home the eighteenth and the nineteenth, which they did not do.  He’s now sitting out in a parking lot God only knows where waiting for them to give him a load.  He can’t drive, because that would put him on duty and that would mean that he couldn’t drive after ten hours.  He’s trying to sleep, but its really hot and he doesn’t want to have to run the truck to keep cool.  He’s got to pay for fuel and the truck payment and he figures he needs 1200 miles a week to do that.  Well, so far he’s not getting it.  As much as I would love to see him, I’ll go without seeing him for however long God wants me to if He’ll just give Tom loads.  I’m so worried and I don’t know what to do about it other than pray.  And pray I have been.  He’s supposed to be getting around 2500 miles a week.  I just want him to get as much as he can legally get.  He’s got bills to pay.  Do me a favor - keep him in your prayers this week as well.  Thanks.

Well, here’s what’s been going on.  I had my gall bladder out on Monday.  I don’t have to go back to work till next Wednesday.  I was approved for Short Term Disability.

I’m pretty sure Tom’s gotten his dream back.  I don’t want to say anything more because I don’t want to jinx it.  But it is amazing how God moves in people’s lives.

Mom had a tooth crack and it was removed.  That was giving her a lot of pain.  This is her first day bak at work since Thursday. She had to stay home with me Monday and yesterday which gave her two more days to recover.

Dad and Kathy came to the hospital with me.  I wasn’t sure I wanted them there, but got scared and called them Monday morning and they still came.  I wish Tom would have been able to have been there, but I know what he was doing was important.  I can’t wait to talk to him later.

Tom has Verizon on one of his phones. I have Verizon.  This means we can talk to each other on these phones at any hour of the day and not have to worry about going over minutes.  This is a good thing.  I know we used over a thousand peak minutes last month.  But I did have to get a texting plan.  So if you want to text me, you can!

Yes, I’ll probably be spammy this week as I get feeling better.  Its been a long time since I’ve had time to sit at the computer for any length of time.  Tom and I usually stay out too late!

I think tis time for me to go lie down and think about my sin of eating something too complicated too soon.  Don’t worry.  I’ll be back.