I’m sure you’ve all noticed that I haven’t been on as much recently.  I haven’t been on Plurk, Twitter (through Brizzly), or Facebook.  Well, I’ve been on Facebook mostly playing Farmville, Mafia Wars, Castle Age, and Mouse Hunt.  I haven’t been posting through Ping.fm or commenting much or even chatting on Trillian Astra.  I haven’t been reading blogs (though if you post of LiveJournal on my friends page I do read that) or posting on my own.  So what happened?  No, I didn’t just lose interest in the people I care about.  I went on a downward spiral and it was not fun.

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How prepared are you for an emergency?  How often does your place of work have fire drills? Tornado drills? Do you know what to do in a flood? How would you get out of your house in an emergency?  Do you know the fastest ways to get to the exits?  What would happen if you couldn’t get out that way?  Do you have any way of marking your children’s rooms so that emergency responders know where to go first?  Do you have Mr. Yuck stickers, cabinet locks, and baby gates?  Do your children know what to do if there’s a fire?  Do you have a fire drill at home?  Where would your family meet if you got separated?  Do you have a contact person if there’s an emergency and you can’t be reached?

Remember September 11, 2001?  Did you know that the majority of the employees of Morgan Stanley got out alive?  We’re talking over 80%.  Why did they get out when so many people didn’t?  Experts say that it was due to the fact that over the past three years the gentleman in charge of security put his colleagues through a consistent and fairly rigorous series of fire drills.  The employees, especially the long time employees, knew where the exits were, where the stairs were, what it was like to go down the stairs, and where to meet after they got out of the building.  That man, who’s name I do not know, is credited with saving many lives.  Does your employer do drills?  When was the last time you had one?  Do you know the emergency plans for your company?  They should have them.  You should know them.  I encourage you to talk to the people you work for and encourage them to get this knowledge out.  It may just save your life.

It’s the first day of the new year.  Many of you have new homes, new family members, etc. Make plans. Check your escapes. Check you fire alarms.  It’s a proven fact that having some sort of plan and having practiced that plan can make the difference between life and death in a serious situation.  It’s a pain and can take time away from other things, but if you ever have to use it, it could save your life or the life of someone you love. Do you really want to deal with the possible consequences of not knowing what to do?

Have a healthy, happy, and safe new year!!

My boyfriend is a trucker and I love him dearly. I work as an order entry tech and I love it. But there are downfalls to these things. I now work 2 to 12:30. It’s a shift that I like and I like only working Monday through Thursday, but there are downfalls. I rarely get to talk to anyone. People are usually in bed by the time I get home. I can’t go out and do things on those days. I can’t call someone up after work to chat. It just doesn’t work. Tom’s away all week most of the time and recently he’s been gone on the weekends, too. When I switched shifts he said that he’d be able to work nights as well, but that just hasn’t happened. I talk to him on my breaks at work and on my way to work, but it’s just not the same. Plus he’s usually asleep for my last break. My Christmas tree isn’t up yet. My Christmas shopping isn’t really done. I’m doing Tom’s Christmas shopping for him. Since he’s only shopping for me right now, I know exactly what I’m getting and how much it costs. I have a better idea of when it’s going to get here as well. I really don’t think I’ll get them wrapped. I managed to save him a lot of money (I got three gifts for less than the cost of one on Amazon – eBay for the win!). He doesn’t know what I’m going to get him (though I did get outbid on what I was going to buy). It’s frustrating. I see posts about how this person is doing that with their SO or that person is doing this with their kids and I just feel lonely. I don’t know if Tom will be home for Christmas Eve or Christmas nor do I know if he’ll be home for New Year’s Eve or the banquet. Heck, I don’t even know if we’re going to go to the banquet because Terry’s been invited (knew that one) and apparently Desiree’s been invited. I’m lonely. I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t think there is anything that I can do about it. *sigh*

There are days when I don’t really like my life. Well, it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s that I don’t find it all that impressive. It usually happens around the time I see my sister. She showed up on Thanksgiving and wouldn’t you know it, I’ve been cry-y all day. She noticed that I had lost weight, but freaked when she found out I was off of my low carb diet. She asked me if I was engaged yet and then proceeded to tell me that I should wait six years before getting married. I guess she really doesn’t want me to have children. I’ll be 36 by then. That’s a little old for that type of thing. Mom had us when she was 30 and 32 and was the oldest mom at the bus stop. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t want kids. Not that I know when I’ll every get proposed to. Tom is insisting on buying me a diamond even though I’ve told him that I’d be perfectly happy with an Epiphany engagement ring. Then again, I don’t know how I would afford a wedding. I have so much debt. And I never could afford one that could compare to my sister’s. I do have a gorgeous wedding gown that I love with all the trimmings (though I would have to find the shoes), but…I don’t know. She had her’s at Phipp’s Conservatory. I could never afford a place that nice. She had everything so nice. Our CA relatives (and their children from various parts of the US) flew/drove in for her wedding. Including our 92 year old grandfather. I don’t think they’d do that for mine. Debbie flies out and sees all of them all the time. She knows our cousins and our cousins children. I don’t. They would come out if Grandpa was coming because we all know our time is short with him. If he came to this coast for anything (cause most of the cousins are in MA area) they’d come for it. I don’t think he’ll be around in 6 years. Of course, it may be six years before I can afford a wedding. Tom wants a big wedding, too. I’m thinking more of sneaking off to Vegas or Fl or one of the Carolinas and getting married. Maybe on the beach. No pressure. I’d fail, but I wouldn’t fail in front of everyone else.

I feel so lonely these days. I rarely see anyone. People are too busy to see me. They have families and children and lives. I don’t think I have much in common with them anymore. We have memories, but they all are from years gone by (think high school and college). They don’t invite me places (though the Steel City Knitter did invite me for Thanksgiving). Once again I feel like I don’t belong. Tom loves me, but he’s away for most of the week and goes to bed before I get off of work every night. Mom loves me, but she’s an hour away and again, goes to bed before I get off of work. Dad and Kathy love me, but I think they are the busiest of them all. Kit Kit and Jack love me. I get kisses from them. But I’m having a rough day and I don’t feel loved right now.

All through growing up great things were expected of me. I was an honor’s student, in GATE clases and advanced science and math courses. I sang, which I don’t do anymore. I was in musicals. I performed. I took part in things. I was in advanced classes in college as well. It was expected that I would go into math or science and do great things, make money, and make people proud. I didn’t do that. I changed from meteorology to English in college and then dropped out. I started temping and fell in love with data entry. I got a good job at a bank downtown earning a lot of money and I didn’t like it. I hated it, in fact. So I went back to data entry. I moved up in my data entry position and am now making more than I did at the bank job, but come on – it’s data freakin’ entry. Not complicated. Not difficult, unless you count reading handwriting as difficult. Although, it’s not. I love my job. I do it ten hours a day, four days a week. I’m fairly good at it, too. But I don’t do anything special, or complicated, or important. Debbie went to college, learned to fly, graduated early, got a job as a pilot, moved up in the ranks, married a pilot, has a house, makes money, is not in debt, and doesn’t have a huge list of failures in her portfolio. The only ones of those that I’ve done is gone to college and moved up in the ranks. Not especially impressive. And apparently I’m bossy, too. And know-it-all. Both Mom and Tom said I was. No wonder the ones who truly want me around are Tom, Mom, Jack, and Kit Kit. I don’t think I would want me around either.

The answer is yes. I think. It’s been busy around here. I’ve been working, but not working OT. I did get my bonus which means we’ll be able to pay rent this month. All my bills are paid for June and though July is started, I have to pay some more. I did see my finish my physical therapy. Yes, I’m finally done with the neck tortue. I start therapy next week. This is good, I think. I saw my phychiatrist and she yelled at me, of course. She wouldn’t let me stop the risperidol, which is what I want to do. I was told that after two to three months symptoms come back. It’s been three months, though, and my symptoms are pretty much not here. Read the rest of this entry »

I was going to try to update everyday this year, but I’ve missed days. I guess that’s out of the question. New Year’s Eve went well. I had to work (blech) but I did end up driving out to Ebensburg and then Johnstown for the celebration. Its a tradition – coathaning at a far away Eat N’Park to bring in the new year. Most of the time it was at Weirton, but this year Johnstown. I think we’ll be going back to Weirton next year – Johnstown was a bit of a disappointment. I have pictures, which will most likely go up on Facebook…oh wait, I gave all the pics to Megan so they area already up there. I told them at the New Years Eve “party” that all I wanted was for Terry to leave me alone at the banquet. I didn’t want him to have to not come or me to have to not come, I just wanted him to leave me alone. I thought I was safe because he was over a half hour late. I guess several people talked to him because he didn’t bug me. He talked to the people around me, which didn’t go all that well since they know he was to leave me alone and aren’t too pleased with him anyways. I had fun, took pictures, and lost one of my gloves. I love those gloves – thinsulate driving gloves that were pretty darn warm. I’ve got some old leather ones that mom had but its just not the same. So the day after New Year’s Day I’m at work and low and behold I get an email. From Terry. Telling me that I looked good even with the short hair and thanking me for not letting him go to the NYE thing because I didn’t want him there. *shrug* This was news to me since no one I know had said anything to him about not coming out NYE. I’m sure they certainly would have mentioned. Not to mention that he doesn’t have transportation so I’m not sure how he thought he was going to get there anyways. So I emailed him back told him he was welcome and that I appreciated him leaving me alone and wish he would continue to do so even in email. An hour or so later I get a reply stating that I was astoundingly immature (and amazingly enough he spelled astounding and immature correctly) and that I look like “a dyke with my hair short”. Terry’s theory is that all women with short hair are lesbians. So much for me looking nice, eh? But that was my last day with Coventry so he will no longer be able to harrass me by email. Woohoo! I survived my bus trip the next morning. Luckily a nice lady named Eve helped me. She even was able to tell me how to get to the building I was going to. Luckily I decided not to spend the day in the city because I came home and promptly got sick. The flu. Blech. Why is it every time I get a flu shot, I get the flu? And the years I don’t get the flu shot, I do? *shakes head* So I spent all yesterday feeling horrible. And most of today sleeping. My stomach still isn’t very happy with me right now and I’m feeling like I need some water. Actually, I want a coke icee. I like coke icees. My mommy got me one last night when I was sick and I was able to keep it down. First thing all day. Mommies are very good to have around. But more about life tomorrow. I’m too tired to write any more tonight.

Merry Christmas to all. I hope you had a wonderful, happy holiday with those you love you.