Good evening everyone!  It’s been quite a week!  I worked two 12.5 hour days, one 12 hour day, and one 10.5 hour day.  If it weren’t for traffic and no OT one night, it would have been four 12.5 hour days.  I had a fiasco with my bc prescription.  Luckily, I work for Medco so I was able to talk to someone who was able to figure out how to make it right.  After I called the dr back and they gave me the correct quantity.  *rolls eyes*  Again, luckily, I work for Medco and was able to tell the nurse that it was 4 packs in 3 months.  The first rx she sent only had 3 packs listed on it.  I’ll be getting the first three packs soon, and the my co-worker who can deal with employee rx’s is having the 4th sent as well.  I still have to get one prescription sent to Medco, but that’s a completely different doctor.  I also finally got the one from my PCP in.  They keep trying to use my health insurance number for my prescriptions and always get told that I don’t have prescription coverage.  I do, but you have to use my Medco number.  Medco manages all of my prescriptions.  I’ve only had it for 1 and a half years!

Today I did the first day of the first week of the Cool Running Couch-to-5K.  Well, that was the plan.  I only did about half.  I did the 15 minute brisk walk warm up, 5 60-second runs, 4 90-second walks, and the 5 minute cool down walk.  I didn’t understand something.  He said six intervals. I thought it was 6 run/walk sets.  I got to the end of the fifth run and he told me I was halfway done.  At that point I was exhausted, red faced, sweating profusely, unsteady on my legs, and feeling very sick to my stomach so I fast forwarded to the 5 minute cool down walk.  Yeah, somehow I don’t think I’ll be ready to do a 5K in 2 months.  Oh well, I don’t have one scheduled to run so I can work up to it.  I do wonder how long I’ll be doing week one.  Since I am going to be regularly working 12.5 hour days, I’ll be planning on doing 2 runs a week – one on Friday and one on Sunday.  I might be able to squeeze a third one in depending on how much OT is offered during the week.  I’m not sure what I’m going to do on the weekends we have the  June running clinic with the Pittsburgh Charity Runners and Walkers, which is on next Saturday morning.  I might have to not do that, which would suck.  I need to do some type of exercise and I know that running is a good one.  I might do something on my Mom’s XL Glider during the week.

I also got my contacts on Monday.  Shocked the heck out of me considering I got 5-7 day shipping and had ordered them on Saturday.  1-800-Contacts used through Wal-Mart rocks!  There wasn’t even a whole business day in between the two!  I got the Acuvue Oasys with Hydraclear Plus that I’ve had before and no problems.  I had tried the Air Optix Night & Day lenses but they irritated my right eye.  I loved being able to wear them all day and all night, but I had at least two areas in my right eye that would swell when I tried to wear them.  I waited months to be sure the eye was totally healed and I haven’t had a problem yet.  I’ve been wearing them more than I haven’t been wearing them.

Well, my last post was different than this post will be.  I haven’t posted yet so far because I’ve been busy.  I’ve been doing a lot of overtime.  A lot.  I will be doing a lot of overtime until at least October.  Yeah, one of the advantages of having a spreadsheet forecasting out expenses and income is that you can tell when you’re just not going to be able to make ends meet.  *sigh*  My wrists are killing me.  I worked on 16 out of the last 19 days (including today and two of the days on which I didn’t work were yesterday and today).  I have my wrist braces and have been wearing them for the most part.  Because I have been doing so much OT the leads decided to teach me how to do singles one night when Alpha was down.  (And no, I don’t expect you to know what Alpha or singles are.)   Twice last week there was VTO and not only did I not take it, I worked 2 hours of OT on those nights.  One of the nice things (for me) is that if they offer OT they can’t cancel it.  But I did have work both nights I stayed when there was VTO so it all worked out.

I was actually totally off meds for almost two weeks, but between everything in my life falling apart and the depression, I decided to start taking Wellbutrin.  Unlike the last two it hasn’t (yet) made me more depressed or motion sick.  Nor has it increased my appetite.  I’m actually eating less now than I was before.  I’m thinking that once I get to Mom’s I might start the Couch to 5K program. Although, since I’ll be working at least 50 hours a week, I might not have the time or the energy.  It’s not well lit at night so I don’t know that I can run after work.  I could try doing it before work. Now that I’m not getting up at 4:30 am I have energy in the morning.  Yeah, I do a lot better on a 2pm to 12:30 am schedule.  I could do a video before work then.  Mom won’t be home so I won’t be disturbing her.

I didn’t talk to anyone on the phone between 3/27 and 4/2.  Unless you count the OT line, but that’s a recording so I don’t.  I didn’t have much interaction with people.  I did next two people and made plans for Saturday.  I worked my tail off.  I was alone, but you know what?  I wasn’t lonely.  I didn’t cry all week.  I didn’t get angry.  I didn’t argue with anyone.  I almost feel guilty, but I didn’t miss Tom.  I must be a cold bitch to feel that way.  Friday I had an appointment with Melissa.  She was shocked that I broke up with Tom.  Shocked.  When I explained she said that she was glad that I was standing up for myself.  I was thinking and this is the first time in years that I’ve done that consistently.  I’m not the person I was a year ago.  Getting rid of the over abundance of meds has made a difference.

I feel like I have to learn who I am again.  I have to find out what I like and what I want to do.  I’m actually interested in doing things.  I made plans this past weekend and saw people.  People said I was different.  I am.  I have to find out where I’m going and what I want to do.  I’ve made changes in my life recently and I think I will be making more changes.  I’m not going to put with what I have in the past.  I’m not going to continually go out of my way for people who won’t help me.  Some of the things that go to me, don’t.  Some of the things I let go by, I no longer do.  I’m going to keep going and see where this takes me.

I mentioned in September in this post that I had lost 13 lbs over the summer, which is great. I have continued to lose weight since then. Once I got off of my risperidal I did a search at work to find out about risperdal (something I now know I have access to). I had noticed something odd a few days after I stopped taking the med. I stopped enjoying the salads. (Okay, originally I thought it was the flu I caught. I went home sick my first week out on the floor and missed another day due to it. Luckily the only time I threw up was on the way home from work. And I manged to get out of the car before that happened.). I would take a bite of the salad and couldn’t eat. I tried changing lettuce mixtures and it was no help. I was still eating my apples and the ham from my salads but that was it. I also wasn’t as hungry. The apple and the ham and the second apple I had on my last break would last me for the rest of the night. I wasn’t eating once I got home from work either. Well, when I looked up the risperidal I discovered that it increases your appetite. You could have pushed me over with a feather when I saw that one. These days I’m eating two pieces of Italian bread with butter and an apple for dinner. (Yeah, so much for my low carb diet!) I have had some popcorn on my first break and an apple on my last break and a couple of pieces of candy and that’s about it. I went out to dinner with Mom on Friday and I could finish my steak. And it was only a 7 oz steak. I ate almost none of my fries, although I did eat a bunch of mozzarella sticks. It’s one of the few ways I’ll actually eat cheese. I had been in size 18 jeans over the summer and several weeks back when I was at Mom’s I grabbed some size 16′s and a bunch of nice blouses from my Mellon job which at that point either fit or almost fit me. About a week after that I switch to wearing the size 16′s. They got very baggy very quickly. Also the end of my belt was sticking out very far. Way too long for the first belt loop, but not quite long enough for the second. Friday I put on the size 14 jeans I had grabbed from Mom’s and they fit. Woohoo! I bought a smaller belt (went from a 42” to a 38”) and when I got back to mom’s I weighed myself. Since May (or so) I have lost a grand total of 31 lbs! That’s a not so small dog. Or three + Jack’s:

The most amazing thing is that I have done nothing except get off my meds. I have exercised exactly twice (and one of those the hot water went off during so I got to take a cold shower that night). Exercising is not one of my strong points. I have not been following my low carb diet very well at all. (I’m hoping that the weight loss with help with the triglycerides.) I have just stopped taking the meds. I also have not gained any weight since starting the Celexa, so that wasn’t the drug that was causing the problems with my weight. It’s so exciting. My face has thinned out and I can wear clothes I have worn in over a year. My face is no longer round! Getting off of the meds wasn’t easy for me or my family. Tom bore the brunt of it and he held up remarkably well. No, it was most certainly not easy. But it paid off. It was worth it.

Last week I had a blood test.  A lipid panel and a fasting blood sugar.  I don’t have diabetes, thank God.  Well, at least not yet.  I do have high triglycerides.  Normal triglycerides are 150-199.  High is 200-499.  Mine was around 416.  Not good.  So I have orders from my doctor.  30 minutes of exercise daily and a low carb diet.  I don’t want to be on a low carb diet.  I like carbs!  My favorite food is pasta.  No more pasta for me.  Chocolate, cakes, cookies – all things I love.  Now against the rules.  So I had to go grocery shopping.  Can’t use the tuna help I got for me.  Ground beef, hamburgers, chicken, asparagus, apples, green peppers, ranch dressing, steamed veggies, and Rubbermaid containers.  Tomorrow I’m going to Giant Eagle and I’ll be buying bags of salad (on sale bogo), strawberries (again, bogo), and ham.  I’m sure I’ll think of it.  I’m going to save up for a water purifier for the tap (cheaper than bottled).  I hate diet stuff.  I can’t stand NutraSweet.  It has a horrible aftertaste. Although I am planning on buying Crystal Light.  Mom gave me a pitcher I can use for that.  I will say that all that exercising will help me to lose weight, which is one of my goals.  I had about 80 lbs I’d like to get rid of.  I lost 13 lbs over the summer (it’s amazing what happens when you get rid of pills that make you gain weight!) so I’m off to a good start.  And that was without exercising.  I’m also going to switch to whole milk.  Mom has a book on a low carb diet and it says no carrots, no grapes, and no low fat milk.  I have a fat/carb guide to restaurants I need to track down. I can keep that in my purse.  Did I mention that I don’t like the taste of water?  I don’t.  I drink it at work, though, so that’s a start.  Now I have to start drinking it at home.  Sometimes life just sucks.

Well, I’m just about finished with my second bout of physical therapy and feel well enough to try and exercise.  I did the 1 mile Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds Express this morning.  I debating doing it again later today. I was able to do it with the stretchy band which gave a real workout to my arms.  It took about 20 minutes – 15 min workout and about 5 min cool down.  I worked up a sweat, which is a good sign for a work out.  I’m trying to lose weight and inches.  Of course, baking cookies isn’t helping, but I’ll mainly eat them with my lunches. I’ve stopped all snacking at work (which can be rough during those first six hours!) and I’m working on smaller portions.  I’m eating healthier foods (ham and potato chip sandwiches vs canned ravioli and meatballs).  I have to move furniture around to work out, which is a little extra exercise in my corner.  If I get up at 4 or 4:15, I should be able to walk the mile before work.  That would be good.  I just recently bought new walking shoes (they have sparklies on them!).  I want to try to get in shape, not only for me but for Tom as well.  He never criticizes me for being over weight and says I’m perfect, but according to For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn (I love her book and feel it’s essential to understanding guys.  I know it helps me in my relationship with Tom.  I’d recommend it to any woman, as I would recommend For Men Only by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn to any man.) how a woman looks is important to a man.  Not that a woman needs to be skinny, but that they need to take care of themselves.  I haven’t been taking very good care of myself and I’m trying to do better.  He deserves it, even if I don’t.

I worked today and Tom is home. That’s difficult to deal with. I want to be home with him. *sigh* And I work tomorrow. And I do OT on Sunday. *sigh* I really do need to do OT because a) we need the money and b) I never know if VTO is going to come up. It’s a lot easier taking VTO when I have the hours to cover it.

Tom made a candlelight dinner tonight. He’s so good to me. We had chicken and buttered noodles. Then we walked to Rita’s for some Italian ice. I had custard and it was good. He had a wild cherry gelato which he liked. It looks like I may have some form of exercise induced asthma. I certainly hope not. But when I exhale when I’m breathing heavily it feels like my throat is closing up. *sigh*

Sunday we’re going to go see Clayton. I know Tom really wanted to see him and when I suggested he call Ian and see if we could come up, he went for it. So we’re going to call when we leave on Sunday. Tom’s going to drive me to work so we’ll leave right from there. He’s also driving me to work tomorrow so we can go to church. I’m always feeling too tired to drive after getting up so early. He can go home and rest.

I have to go. I want to watch the Pens game. We’re winning at the moment. I can only hope it continues. I can’t stay up for the whole game. I would have to work the weekend of the Stanley Cup finals. Go Pens!

Well, I had gotten several Walk Away the Pounds dvd’s a while ago and was using them. Today we got a whole new set of work out videos – Turbo Jam. Now I like the WATP dvd that I’ve been using – the 15 minute walk. Since I’m fairly out of shape, that’s been getting me moving a little bit. Leslie has at least 5, maybe 6 basic steps and for the back half of the 1 mile walk there’s arm movements which you’re supposed to do with a stretchy band, which I did not have. I like it.

Now I’ve got tons of Turbo Jam workouts to try. They do have a 15 minute work out and a 20 minute work out. I’m thinking about trying the 15 minute one in the morning. We got at least 7 dvds (all different), two stretchy bands, resistance something or other, tape measure, 10 day diet plan, getting started guide and weighted gloves. I don’t think I’ll be using those any time soon (except maybe one of the two stretchy bands which I’ll steal for my WATP dvd). I’m not going to try the diet plan – I don’t do very well with those. But I want to exercise. I want to lose between 60 and 80 lbs. I would like to lose a portion of it before August 15th (my sister’s wedding). Its going to be hard to get up and do them, but losing weight is never easy. I need to get up and moving. Maybe I’ll take walks around the neighborhood on nice days. Even after work ’cause I’ve got a bunch more energy. Hopefully, I’ll remember to blog again soon with my report on Turbo Jam.