Well, I worked today. And I went to church. And I had steak. And we went to Rita’s for frozen ice. And Tom diagnosed me as having a fever. I’m going to bed. I’m sorry I don’t have more today. Tomorrow I work and we’re going to Johnstown to see the baby as long as our freinds are up for it.

I have always believed in God and Jesus. I have always believed that He loves me and cares for me. Recently, that belief has been stretched and even broken. I know He came to save us and that he redeemed us. I’ve just been going through a time when I haven’t been able to trust Him.
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Deep down. People always are wondering what they are like deep down. So much can be seen on the surface but who trusts the surface of anything? Surfaces can be painted and glossed over and made pretty for everyone to see. It’s what is below that matters. There are people who are all surface. These people make poor friends. Well, maybe not poor friends, but certainly not true friends. They are not friends who will stick with you through thick and thin. They are not people who will be there when the going gets tough. I’m not a big fan of surface people. Luckily, I don’t know that many. Most surface people get sick of me right away. I’ve always been one to look closely at people and things. I see too much, as one friend told me. I know I look to hard and ask too much. I always have. It’s hard for me to trust people. As I told you in my 101 Things About Me I always feel like I’m pestering people or bothering them when I go to talk to them. There are times, and those times can be quite often, when I have extremely low self esteem. I don’t see why anyone would bother with me. I know I’m nothing special, nothing worth people taking time and energy away from their activities for. So I tend to leave people alone. I don’t call anyone other than my parents and Tom. Tom, for some odd reason, likes to talk to me. I don’t always understand why. I’m so bogged down in money problems that I can’t see straight. I would like to believe that I’m worthwhile, etc. but I just feel like a drain on society. I don’t contribute much; I just take. Or at least that’s all I can see right now. I just want to get in bed and hide under the covers. It makes going to church difficult.

Tom wasn’t going to get any freight this weekend so he came home. Yippee! I went straight (okay, almost straight. I stopped to eat) from work to pick him up in Columbus. We didn’t get home till after 2 am, though we did stop to share a scallop dinner (yum!). He stayed up all night cleaning the apartment – the yucky stuff I didn’t want to do like the refrigerator, toilet, bathtub, carpets (kitty puke yay – not!), and the ucky chicken pans I didn’t do on Thursday. He also took all of the trash out. And cleaned the rest of the bathroom as well. Does a guy get much better than that? He came to bed at that point (he did all of that while I was sleeping – I told you he was awesome!) and we slept for most of the morning. He’s now dealing with the gas shut off notice we got from Equitable last night. Since we’re not responsible for paying the gas bill according to the lease, I didn’t think we should have gotten the notice. We’re also going to go to Seeds of Hope tonight (especially since Ian and Megan will be there – yay!), though he does need to get some more sleep before doing that. I also need to get a copy of his SS card and driver’s license so we can send away for his DAC report (commercial driving report) to see how long we have to wait until we can find him another job. I’m hopeful; he’s not. I think the plan is to see our mothers tomorrow and he’ll be heading back on a bus on Monday. That will be sad, but its been wonderful having him home! His next scheduled home time isn’t till June or July so it’s nice to get the chance to see him. Needless to say, I did not go in for OT today. Yay! I really didn’t want to go. LOL. I hope you guys are having as great of a time as we are.

Stolen from nancypaynter who stole it from someone else. I don’t know who that someone else is, but here are my answers.

You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their lives, and all of a sudden you think, “Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???” And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy mine below, erase my answers, putting yours in their places, and then post the result in your journal. Please elaborate on the questions which would benefit from elaboration! One-word-answers seldom help anyone out.

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Good evening everyone.  Its once again time for me to inform you of the wonderful plans I have for the week.  Don’t worry, this won’t take long.

5/19 – Go to work.  Come home.  Eat dinner.  Go to sleep.

5/20 – Go to work.  Come home.  Eat dinner.  Go to sleep.

5/21 – Go to work.  Come home.  Eat dinner.  Go to sleep. (Nope, no therapy appointment this week.)

5/22 – Go to work.  Come home.  Eat dinner.  Go to sleep.

5/23 – Go to work.  Come home.  Eat dinner.  Go to sleep.

5/24 – Sleep in.  Relax.

5/25 – Go to church, hopefully.  Laundry. Clean.

I will be doing various activities such as talking on the phone to my friend, finding three positive things for each day (therapy homework), spending time on the internet, etc. 

My view of the world is a very negative one.

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Good evening one and all.  Its that time yet again.  Time for me to let all of you know my fun and exciting plans for the week.  We shall have to see if this week could possibly be any more exciting than the last one!

5/12 – Monday morning.  Work.  If I’m lucky, it won’t be raining when I’m trying to walk to the building.  We’ll probably go grocery shopping after work.  We didn’t go today.

5/13 – Tuesday.  I could call and see if I’m still welcome at the Tuesday night group, but I probably won’t get the courage to do so.  That means NCIS with mom.  Maybe do some cleaning.  *shrug*

5/14 – Wednesday.  Work, again.  Tonight I have therapy.  That should be interesting.  I still don’t have my homework done.  I don’t know when I will get it done.  Probably five minutes before I go in.  Yeah, procrastination combined with no clue as to what answers to provide.

5/15 – Thursday.  PAYDAY!  Nothing to do tonight.  I’m supposed to call my PCP and give her an update on how I’m doing, stomach-wise.  She works late tonight, so even if I forget to call while I’m at work, I’ll have the chance to do it once I get home.

5/16 – FRIDAY!  Last day of work for the week.  Again, nothing exciting.  Story of my life.

5/17 – Saturday.  I get to sleep in!  Probably more cleaning – Mom and I would like to get the house all nice and pretty.  She’s got some work to do in her room and that’s more her stuff, but I do have some stuff in the dining room to clean up.  And I can sweep and vacuum.  Put my books away.  General stuff like that.

5/18 – Sunday.  Yet another attempt to go to church.  I’m kinda scared to go, which isn’t making exactly motivated to go.  Laundry.  Sundays are laundry days.  If we’re lucky we’ll go grocery shopping so we won’t have to do it Monday night.

Weekly expected weather – Rain.  Cooler temps. High sixties as highs, forties as lows.  Chance for thunderstorms on Wednesdays.  That might be cool.  Monday’s high is only 49, but by Wednesday we should be hitting 70.  It gets colder from then on out.  And did I mention the rain?

We’ll see a week from now how the week went.

Stealing from Sarah

4/28 – Well, its kinda over for me. Its 8:55 pm and I’m about to go to bed. Just had work today. It was awful. I felt awful. If I had been able to, I would have gone home at about 10 am. Last 45 minutes of the day sucked horribly. I wish my supervisor would make up her mind. But, clean room, candle lighted, room lighted up, computer and kitty so much better now. If only my stomach would agree….

4/29 – Tuesday. Guess what! I’m going to that joy-filled place known as work. Once again I’ll be racing through my reports trying to get them done early enough. And helping out with wires. I wonder if Kiera will be there. She might have gone into labor this afternoon. Just what I need – my back up to go missing on me. Poor Kiera, though. She’s not due till June.

4/30 – Pay day! I get to go to all my billing websites and pay my bills. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Discover (this month and next month), MBNA (which is really Bank of America, but it was MBNA when I got the card!), and phone. Well, can’t quite pay the phone yet. The bill won’t be ready until after the 4th of May. Silly Verizon. Also find out what my employee discount will get me in the way of car insurance. If it goes like the quotes I got today, I’ll be sticking with what I have, even if it did go up $98 for no apparent reason. Oh yeah, I have therapy today. Joy.

5/1 – Just another day. Maybe getting some laundry done – my bed, I think. Though its a risky thing to do on a short night. Might have to stay up late letting it dry. Must empty the dishwasher. And it’s Thursday – trash day.

5/2 – Friday! One last day at work and I get to go home to my nice clean kitchen and room. Did I mention I cleaned up the kitchen this weekend?

5/3 – Yay! I get to sleep in. Or wake up and go back to sleep, however you want to describe it. Must work on dining room and solve the weekly dilemma – whether or not to go to Seeds. Probably won’t happen. Damn Terry.

5/4 – Maybe this Sunday I’ll wake up early enough to check out St. Stephens. Must find church. So far Mom’s liked Sharon Presby and I like St. Phillip’s. Twill be interesting to see what the service is like. If I can wake up early enough. Laundry day.

So that’s my week. It will also be cold, wet, and, thank God, not snowy. I like all the spring flowers, but ’tis almost time for them to be gone. Petals are falling. The grass in the backyard looks like it has dandruff. And the clock strikes nine o’clock. (Okay, so its a few minutes and an hour off. I won’t tell if you won’t!)

Edit: 5/2 – getting together with Knitting Mama.

No, silly, not for me. But this is the weekend of engagements. My sister is now engaged to her longtime boyfriend (ha! He’s her fiance now!) and Ellen and Justin became engaged at church Saturday night (and I was going to go, too. Darn it!) I guess I’ll have to wait to see both of the rings (maybe I’ll sneak over to small group on Tuesday night!) So happiness and joy to all the affianced!

Sig by Sarah