Can I just say that I’m scared?  Life has sucked recently.  Tom was hit by a car on Saturday night. So far he’s lost almost an entire week’s of work.  His knee and shoulder are injured. I found out today that tomorrow he’s being sent for a MRI of his knee and won’t be able to go back until after we get the results from the doctor.  She didn’t like how his knee sounded.  So my prediction is, if there’s nothing wrong with the knee, is that the earliest he can go back is Thursday and the earliest he can get a load is Friday.  *sigh* Without tom working we start running out of money fairly quickly, especially at this point since he hasn’t been keeping up with his payments to me for various reasons.  So yeah, we’re low on money.  Due to this I’ve signed up for 14.5 hours of OT (time and a half and double time) this weekend.  Plus the 1.5 to 2 hours I’ve already done this week.  It’ll be hell, I think, but it needs to be done.  I’ve already gone through once and figured out what bills aren’t going to be paid this month and it looks like I’ll have to search for some hard numbers to figure it at this point.  I don’t know how long I’ll have to work crazy OT, but it could be a while.  Unless, of course, some untoward things happen tomorrow.

So you all know about Tom, but you probably don’t know what’s been going on with me.  Let’s start out with depression. I’ve been trying to find something that works for months.   Zoloft was the last one and a week or two ago I started getting incredibly motion sick when I was driving.  So as of last Saturday, I’ve not been taking any antidepressants.  Let me just say that withdrawal sucks.  The withdrawal from the Zoloft in particular.  I think that I’m still feeling some after affects of it.  I did see Dr. Cutlip today and I do have some stuff at the pharmacy, but getting it isn’t a priority.  I’m going to try going without for another week or so.  I’ve been medicated for over 10 years and I want to see how I am without it.  So far it’s been going okay.  I was actually a lot worse on the Celexa.

Of course, that’s not the only thing that’s been going on.  This following paragraph may contain TMI for some of you, especially the males in the audience. (Wait, do I even have males in my audience?  I really don’t know….)  Since I tried Yaz last summer I’ve been having horrible, horrible menstrual cramps – mostly in the back but sometimes in the abdomen as well.  I did go back to the original med, but that didn’t help.  For another reason altogether I switched to a more high estrogen birth control and again, no change.  I’ve complained about it every time I’ve seen my doc.  Last time I saw her she said it can take 3 cycles for the meds to help (not that it ever has taken that long before) and she told me that she would prescribe some Cataflam (she didn’t – I ended up with meloxicam).  For months on her recommendation I’ve been taking the drug of the moment starting several days before the period and cramping starts and it hasn’t helped.  I’ve tried etodolac, meloxicam, Tylenol, and ibuprofen and it doesn’t seem to help.  Only heat or the whim of the uterus seems to make a difference.  Finally, out of frustration than anything else, seh sent me for a pelvic ultrasound.  I had it Friday (oh yeah, that was interesting) and I got the call from the doctor yesterday.  Well, I guess I would have to say Wednesday now though I haven’t gone to bed yet.  I was told that it showed fluid in my pelvis probably from a ruptured cyst and that if I had pain with my next period I should make an appointment with my gynecologist.  Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your view of the world), it’s that week.  I wasted no time and called Dr. Labuda.  Now the practice that takes over a month for a colposcopy and three+ months to schedule an annual exam got me in tomorrow.  Two days.  Yeah, they’re not worried or anything.  Nothing serious there.  So yeah, I’ve been in terrible pain the past couple of days.  My uterus seems to be working incredibly hard at times.  There’s only one problem – I’ve had more blood from paper cuts than I have this period.  Although a little bit more showed up tonight.  Not even close to normal.  Wonderful – another thing to worry about.  And though I don’t know that it’s related, I do know it’s not typical of me that I’ve become very bloated.  As in up a pant size bloated.  I was bloated for my doc appointment and I had actually lost 0.6 lbs.  Someone please explain that to me.  Oh, did I mention that WebMd says next to nothing about ruptured ovarian cysts and absolutely nothing about having severe menstrual cramps but not having anything to show for it?  Nope, not able to put my mind at ease that way.

So yeah, I have to get up at the crack of dawn (for me), drive Tom to his MRI, go to the doctor, hopefully get Tom from the MRI, drop him off at home and then go work for 5.5+ hours.  Not to mention that I might have to make another appointment for something else or even go to the hospital (yes, that was brought up by a nurse friend of mine).  I’m sceduled to work 6.5 hours tomorrow and 3 hours on Sunday, if OT is approved and I don’t have  a health reason to not go in.  Somebody shoot me now and get it over with.