The answer is yes. I think. It’s been busy around here. I’ve been working, but not working OT. I did get my bonus which means we’ll be able to pay rent this month. All my bills are paid for June and though July is started, I have to pay some more. I did see my finish my physical therapy. Yes, I’m finally done with the neck tortue. I start therapy next week. This is good, I think. I saw my phychiatrist and she yelled at me, of course. She wouldn’t let me stop the risperidol, which is what I want to do. I was told that after two to three months symptoms come back. It’s been three months, though, and my symptoms are pretty much not here. They appear around my period and I’m thinking I might have PMDD. I’m going to talk to my doctor about it and about maybe seeing if I can switch birth control pills to something to help with emotions. My mother suggested Yaz so I’m going to ask her about it. I know they use antidepressants to treat it as well, but I want off the pills, if I can. BC is one thing, antidepressants are another. Why? Mainly because I’m royally pissed over the clonopin/alprazolam situation. Warning: This may not apply to everyone. This is just what happened to me. Every person is different and due to severe reactions which may occur (which did happen to my friend Leslie) consult with a doctor before discontinuing any form of your medication. When I ran out of the clonopin before I was able to refill it I went through withdrawal. I was stupid (yes, I’ll admit it. It was very stupid.) and did not refill it right away. Once I got through the withdrawal I decided to see if I really needed the anti anxiety medication after all. I live five minutes from the pharmacy and could go there at any point to get them filled if I had an attack, so I decided to wait. And you won’t believe what I noticed – all my symptoms disappeared. All the problems I’d been having with depression and anxiety went away. To this day, I have not had a single problem with anxiety. So I compounded my stupidity and since the doctors in the hospital had decided to cut most of my meds with no slow down, so did I. Of course, I weaned myself off of the pills. I cut down what I was taking week by week until I was taking nothing. I watched carefully and not once did I have a problem that wasn’t related directly to finances. I had missed an appt with my psychiatrist but I wasn’t worried. The only pill that stopping made me really sick and unable to complete was the risperdal. So I went back on it. I paid attention. I began having attacks with anger, but you know what? They all centered around my period. Once I got my period, I didn’t have problems. The week or two before? Problems. Hence my idea on changing my BC to see if it will help. One of the things I did to pacify my psychiatrist was agree to see a psychologist. I have discovered that I have a lot of anger in those weeks around my period and I would like to learn how to cope with it and see if I can deal with some of the pent up anger I have. So I see Melissa on Tuesday. I don’t know how it will help or what will happen, but I’m going for it. I’m hoping that the symptom pattern will hold up (no symptoms for the past two weeks!). I see Dr. Denise next week to talk about medication.
Tom is coming home next week and most likely will be home tomorrow. Yay! His truck is being serviced starting Monday so he’s taking the opportunity to stop by the apartment. We’re going to see the MacLellans and my dad. I’m hoping we might be able to see his Mom (or at least he’ll be able to see his mom) and maybe see my Mom. I’d also like to see Barbi and her mom, but it’s going to be tough to fit it all in. I’d like to do some cleaning as well. That’s what I should be doing right now, in fact. I did get my raise and it was bigger than I expected – yippee!! I’m not sure if I really want Tom to come home tomorrow. He also wants to go to church on Sunday. I want him to get to Niles, then to Columbus so I can pick him up tomorrow afternoon and get home in time to get to bed early enough to go to work on Monday. If not, he’ll have to take the bus home on Monday and may not get home till Tuesday. *sigh* We don’t always get what we want, though. I’ll be heading over to Mom’s today as long as she’s okay with that. I bought a pie we can have for desert. Yummy. Well, Laundry will be done soon and I need to clean, so I best be off. Talk to you all later!