I get through the day of work without crying.  Most of the time I don’t even feel the urge.  Some songs get me.  *shrug*  After that its anyone’s guess.  I’m pretty depressed.  I’m pushing through to get through work.  I don’t know how I do it.  I know on the weekends I’m not doing anything that I should be doing (other than watching Steeler games).  I’m not doing as well as it would seem.  I’m scared.  More scared than I like to admit.  I have trouble sleeping at night.  I feel a frown on my face all the time, even when I’m talking to Tom.  I rarely make a move to talk to people.  The closest I get is Plurk.  Not that anyone wants to talk to me.  One of things that I was raised on is “Laugh, and the world laughs with you.  Cry and you cry alone.”  Sometimes I try to talk to people, but I feel like such a burden.  I don’t want to depress people.  I don’t want to weigh people down with my problems, especially since they’re so stupid.  I feel so petty and stupid.  I’m still practicing self injury.  I feel so lost and alone and I don’t know what to do about it, other than blog about it.  Yeah, that’s really going to improve my readership.  Then again, I don’t think I have a readership.  But at least I have a pretty blog. *sigh*