No, that’s not what I ate for dinner.  I couldn’t find the peanut butter I wanted at Giant Eagle (boo!).  I did get a steak and it was yummy.   Now I’m chowing down on M&M’s.  I’m very depressed tonight.  My fingers are swollen and sore and my body is sore.  I really want to cry but that would upset Tom.  So I’ll keep eating M&M’s.  I cried pretty much the whole way home and fought with Tom.  I was beating up on myself and was about 50-60% wanting to kill myself.  But nobody wants to hear about that.  They never want to be around when you’re desperate for someone to care.  I try very hard not to burden other people with my issues because I know that if I do they’ll stop liking me. People only want you around when you are happy.  That has more to do with me missing events than anything else.  If people knew how much I struggled, I wouldn’t have any friends.  As it is, I have a very had time getting people to talk to me.  I’m sorry.