Dear Hilary Clinton,

Please stop calling us.  Yes, I know the primary is April 22nd and I know you want votes, however your constant calls are doing nothing more than annoy us.  I am a registered republican.  My mother is a registered independent.  Pennsylvania has closed primaries.  Please leave us alone.

No love,

Phone answerer

Dear Teamsters Union,

Yes, my sister is a pilot in your union.  She hates your union.  Her co-workers hate your union.  They are considering a vote to get out of your union.  Sending her Barak Obama cards will not influence her vote in a positive manor.  By the way, she does not live here.  She lives in Ohio and her primary was at least a month ago.

No love,

Mail getter
Dear unknown number, unknown caller,

If I decide to answer the phone, please say something.  Leaving me to silence for 15 seconds (if I wait that long) will get you a hang up.  You hang up on our answering machine.  I have no way to tell you to stop calling us.  PLEASE STOP CALLING US.

No love

Phone answerer

Dear unknown caller, 866 number,
I answered your call for one reason – you keep calling.  When you ask for my mother I will ask you who you are.  If you say you are Robert Morris, Bates College, the Central Blood bank, or any other company who has nothing to do with my family I will tell you she is not available and ask you to put us on your do not call list.  PLEASE DO SO.

No love,

Phone answerer